Firstly, thank you very much for all of the lovely messages on my previous posts - it is nice to feel appreciated. I will keep writing while being a junior doctor, but may take a different format. This weekly format was quite clunky, as some weeks I had loads to say, and some weeks I didn't have very much - perhaps I will change to a 'regular blog' instead, meaning I can update on days when exciting things happen, with shorter posts which are easier to fit into (what is going to be) my busy working life!
I have now graduated, and am due to start work next week. A very scary thought indeed! Graduation was lovely, we had the normal ceremony in the morning, where we came up on stage one by one to be presented with a certificate as part of the main university ceremony, and then in the afternoon we had our own medical students ceremony where we said the (revised) Hippocratic oath (old one not really fit for modern medicine/surgery) and we had our own prizes, speakers and so on. The main event in the morning was a lot more interesting than the one at the university I intercalated at two years ago; it was a lot more relaxed, a lot more fun and a lot less pompous. The event in the afternoon was very informal as well, and much more personalised as it was just for my year. All in all a really enjoyable day, and having this certificate in my hand, and being Dr Internal Optimist is just crazy. When people ask me what I do, I still say that I have just graduated and try and steer the conversation away from that topic. I feel a bit uncomfortable about it, almost as though it isn't right - something that I hope will pass.
Current impression I am likely to make as I start my vascular rotation next week
And it is important that that feeling passes - 'Black Wednesday' is next Wednesday - I start work in less than a week, and have shadowing before that. I am going to have to introduce myself to all of 'my' patients! I have decided on a compromise, which makes it seem less strange. I am going to indroduce myself as "Internal Optimist, one of the doctors looking after your care" rather than "Dr Internal Optimist" as it seems less... strange to me. I don't know why it is - I suppose I have always held those who teach us in quite high regard (yeah, I am a bit of a goody-two-shoes ... or sometimes at least). Having looked up to some very inspirational doctors during my 6 years at medical school, it is very strange having crossed that student-brain-barrier and having entered a position where I could well be the 'inspirational' doctor that medical students see. Sadly it is much more likely that I am the poorly-organised-and-rushing-around-doctor who medical students will not get much help from, but I will try my best.
Anyway, I am looking forward to everything ahead, and while it feels very strange, I think that is a good thing. I will keep posting and keep you all updated. Thank you for being so lovely to me throughout my time posting as a student - writing a blog is good I think. It encourages reflection (and god knows we are told to do enough of that at medical school) and is cathartic to talk about what happened, and look back on how things made me feel. I just wish I had the time (and knowledge) to organise all my old posts in some way to make them more easily findable, and separate them from the 'Dr posts' that will come.
If anyone has any good ideas for a blog title change, please let me know!